A dying woman's bedside confession revealed the true fate of the square-rigger Madagascar, which had mysteriously vanished from sight in 1853 while transporting a fortune in Australian gold

"I'll kill the first bastard that takes a step!" First Mate Jenkins screamed at the dozen men advancing upon him with marlin pins, knives and lengths of wood.

"We'll kill you!" one of the mutineers returned with a leer, brandishing his knife. "There's gold aboard and we mean to have it!"

While this man, a red-bearded giant, held Jenkins' attention, another man named Manners attempted to get behind the first mate so that he could use the razor-sharp knife be held in his fist.

"You're taking nothing off this ship," Jenkins told the would-be pirates. "I'll see you all hang first!"

The words were barely out of his mouth, when Manners, from behind a mast, hurled the knife at him, burying it deep in his back. The others started forward, but Jenkins, face twisted with pain, fired at the red-bearded mutineer. At that moment, as the man fell dead, the ship's captain rushed up the ladder with a few loyal crew members, all well armed.

Before Manners could retreat from behind the mast, a sailor's bullet cut him down. Jenkins fired again at the mass of howling humanity and a third man dropped, dead before he hit the deck.

Jenkins, mortally wounded, dropped his gun and fell to the deck, dying before the captain or any loyal crewmen could reach his side. In the confusion, the mutineers were quickly overcome. Six of them were captured and ordered thrown into the hold in irons, but three of them, including the ring leader, slipped away.

Captain Fortesjue Harris, master of the thousandton, square-rigged Madagascar, felt that the back of the revolt had been broken.

But at the same time, Joseph Grey, a stowaway who was wanted for murder and robbery in Australia, had gathered the rest of the blood-thirsty mutineers about him in the hold to tell them that the gold could still be theirs.

"The captain will think he's settled our hash," he declared, "and we'll be able to catch him by surprise this time." Quickly, he set about explaining how the men who had been put into irons would have to be released and the ship's crew overcome.

Grey had smuggled himself aboard the Madagascar ana bribed the ship's carpenter, one of his mutineers, into hiding him in his tool box while the police combed Melbourne for him. He was wanted in connection with the murder of four guards and robbery of 10,000 pounds - nearly $50,000 - in gold. The shipment had been on its way from the gold fields of Bendigo when it was attacked by Grey and three other men. His confederates had been captured and slated to hang, but Grey had escaped with his share of the loot, seeking out the vessel as a refuge.

No sooner had the vessel set sail on that August morning in 1853, and Grey had been released from the tool box, then he learned that the ship was carrying 68,390 ounces of gold - well over one million dollars!

Grey, forgetting his earlier take still hidden in the tool box, began to conspire to obtain this new gold supply, which was bound for the Bank of England.

Aboard the ship, he learned, were about 90 passengers and a crew of about 40, most of the seamen drafted from the scum along the waterfront dives; (most of Melbourne's seamen had deserted the waterfront for the gold fields of Ballarat and Bendigo, making it necessary for Capt. Harris to take what he could get).

From this crew, Grey began to recruit his band of killers, as well as from a number of ugly ex-convicts who were among the steerage passengers.

"There's gold enough for all of us to live in luxury for the rest of our lives," he told his followers. "We'll take over the ship, sink her when we're close to land, and set ourselves up with a South American empire of our own."

The first attempt at piracy, of course, was defeated, but Capt. Harris' reassurances to his passengers turned out to be no more than hollow promises a few days later when Grey and his band of villains struck again.

That evening, Capt. Harris was dining in the salon with the first class passengers when a shot was fired on deck. Many of the guests aboard the vessel reacted in fright, recalling the aborted mutiny.

An instant later, Joseph Grey and a dozen of the conspirators burst into the salon, most of them armed with pistols taken from the loyal crewmen. The pistol shot had been Grey's signal for his men, strategically placed, to overpower the watch on deck, the helmsman and all others who had displayed loyalty to the ship. At that very moment, most of them lay dead or wounded on the deck, while still others, thrown overboard by the mutineers, were screaming for help in the ship's frothy wake.

Saturday night. The Palms hotel. The ever-chic South Beach. Tourists float in and out of the tiled entrance, mixing with buyers, editors and businessmen who arrive on foot and by car for the event. This is not just a party, however. It's a fashion party, with a capital F, and all the props are in place.

There is the check-in: A very official-looking desk decorated with very official-looking clipboards. Smiling young girls (a standard theme at fashion parties) hand out neon gummy bracelets to smiling invitees. A few steps up is a reception area where a group of cocktail waiters offer the now-ubiquitous official drink of fashion events, the Cosmopolitan. All around stand small groups, chit-chatting and sipping their drinks. The New York fashion flock huddles by the bar, easily detected by their perfect Miami summer outfits -- complete with their perfect Miami summer Jimmy Choo footwear. Off to the side is a doorway where a small group has gathered. May we expect another fashion prop? A gift bag? A celebrity? Instead, it's a doorway to something rarely embraced in the fashion world, yet continues to inspire it: History.

The party is for swimwear brand Jantzen. Miami-based Perry Ellis Inc., which recently acquired the swimwear license, has thrown the party (officially known in fashion PR language as the "Hottest Night in Town Gala") to formally launch its 2003 season swimwear line. But Perry Ellis has chosen to focus on the future of the company by looking at its past.

To pass through the doorway from the reception area, guests are granted an admission ticket through a window that replicates an old-time ticket booth. Inside is a living Jantzen archive. For a fashionista it's magic, a veritable museum of swimwear history, a chance to see up close bathing suits that are now only pictures in books.

There are the full one-piece bathing suits that replaced "bathing costumes" -- wool rib-knits that may have weighed as much as 8 lbs. when wet. There is "The Twosome," a one-piece (despite the name) that came with its very own skirt and belt. There are low-leg suits from the '50s, maillots (high-cut one piece suits) from the '80s and every cover-up from toga-like pareos to wide-legged palazzo pants. There is a tree of bathing caps, some so beautifully preserved and well-crafted they look like art. ("Oh my god!" exclaims one guest when she happens upon the cap tree. "My father used to make me wear those every time I went swimming.")

Exiting the mini museum, we are directed to the hotel's garden courtyard, transformed into a playground of Americana. We are welcomed by a pair of models, in vintage bathing suits and bathing caps, dressed to resemble the red-diving-girl Jantzen logo. An ice-cream stand waits in front of a Jantzen-themed gazebo.

More models (this is a fashion party) stand around in groups of three on the lawn, each trio representing a Perry Ellis brand. And as we wander through this maze of swimwear -- the floral patterns, the tiny two-pieces, the red, white and blue of the Tommy Hilfiger collection -- we are struck by a sense of what Miami Beach might have been like before it became South Beach. And we experience a sense of pride in the local fashion industry -- aka Perry Ellis -- for having the guts to forgo the glitz and the glamour of "South Beach" for the innocence and the fun of old Miami Beach. And for acknowledging the 92-year history of a company and its swimwear fashions.

Fake tourists wander about, chatting up guests with a noseful of zinc, Hawaiian shirts and rubber floats. A woman with red curls piled atop her head wanders the party in a '50s dress and full makeup. She finds her partner, a Cuban bandleader in a guayabera, who drags her on to the dance floor to kick off the celebration.

Rounding a corner we are greeted by perhaps the greatest embodiment of sexy swimsuit Americana -- Marilyn Monroe. Monroe, it seems, was a Jantzen model back in the days when she was known as Norma Jean. And as the Marilyn impersonator mugs, we look around at the guests, who mingle with the Lucy and Ricky impersonators, eat at tables scattered about the pool, hit on the swimsuit models.... Hit on the swimsuit models?

There is a vintage-swimsuited model lounging on a pedestal next to the stairs. And there in front of her is a fifty-something man, tanned and well-dressed, chatting away. "You look lovely in that suit. How old are you?" he asks, looking her up and down. "Twenty-one," she smiles graciously.

And in that moment we are transported back to reality. Fashion (and its parties) may evolve. But some things will never change.

It is a challenge to create standout product in an apparel category that, as its very name suggests, is uniform.

Despite innovations in terms of pleats, belts and trims, there is only so much elbow room companies have in terms of embellishment and silhouette, based on the rules and regulations of various school districts. However, it turns out that subtle improvements in fabrication and hand are proving enough to drive sales increases for some of the biggest vendors in the business.

The key way that companies are growing share in the uniform business into 2005 is by providing durable fabrics, with technology that keeps them looking like new as long as possible.

"I think that overall, the biggest change that's happening in the industry is the demand by retailers and consumers for stain-resistant features, the demand for 'wrinkle-no-more' kinds of technology and things like that" said GigiWynn Gregersen, school brand manager at Lollytogs Ltd., which encompasses the French Toast Official Schoolwear line.

While long-lasting product is essential to today's exceptionally busy moms, the scratchy fabrics they might recall from their own school days are less acceptable. Customers are looking for tough apparel that is comfortable.

"We are always trying to find the best new thing in terms of keeping the product durable--because that is the No. 1 thing that parents look for--while introducing softer hand feel," added Gregersen.

A number of uniform producers across the marketplace have also been focusing on hand, especially in girls' wear.

"Last year we introduced a new girls' school uniform line and it did very well for us; it included a new fabric that was a little softer, with more brushing than the original fabric used in boys," said Rick Crosland, general manager of Dickies Kids' Wear and School Uniforms. As a result, the bottoms fabrication has been changed across the board for 2005, in shorts, pants, skirts, jumpers and skorts, in a 65:35 polyester/cotton blend.

While stain-resistant products have been popular for years, especially for keeping white knit and woven tops looking crisp, they keep gaining momentum. Now that Lollytogs owns the Healthtex brand, it is applying its exclusive Kidproof technology to some of its uniform items: Kidproof was designed to provide stainresistance on knits without losing the soft feel of the fabric.

Another reason customers are looking for exceptionally durable merchandise is that their buying patterns have shifted. While back-to-school has always been the traditional peak purchasing season, busy parents have apparently started stockpiling merchandise during that time frame.

"I think parents are getting a lot smarter in how they're buying school uniforms, really loading up in the beginning of the school year," added Gregersen. "Less year-round buying is happening; they are buying the same amount of apparel but expecting it to look better longer."

Apparently, school uniforms are expected to work as hard as the students wearing them. In a 2001 study by The NPD Group, 89% of parents said they choose uniforms based on how durable they are, and this purchasing trend has gained momentum. Thanks to improved wear-resistant treatments, consumers can have the best of both worlds: tough apparel with a soft touch. Into back-to-school 2005, expect these subtle improvements to keep dramatically impacting results.

Going against the flow used to be cool. Back when I attended high school, individualism was celebrated, even though peer pressure was a strong motivating force.

As it is today, fashion was an important influence for teens of the '70s, such as myself. Among hot fashion trends in Oregon, where I grew up, were designer jeans, velour sweaters and waffle stompers (hiking boots that got their nickname from the "waffle" footprints they made). Popular places to buy teen clothing included mall shops, such as Casual Corner, Lerner and Nordstrom. Fred Meyer was another choice, since it was open nights and weekends in that pre-supercenter era.

Though nobody would openly admit it, Kmart was also a popular stop because of how cheap everything was. That was back when teen clothing was mixed in with women's on long linear racks, way before Route 66 and Jaclyn Smith.

The money I earned from a part-time job was spent primarily on clothing and jewelry, and a lot of it through my teen years went to Fred Meyer and Kmart because I could get more for my money. I liked being able to buy lots of clothes I liked rather than a few expensive but perhaps trendier items from a department store.

Perhaps that's why I have a hard time identifying with the teen mentality today. As the parent of a 13-year-old girl, I'm learning that the store brand and its image mean so much today--too much, in my opinion. My daughter's friends like to shop at Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, Old Navy, The Gap and Target because of the image associated with these retailers. At least a dozen girls at my daughter's middle school last year proudly wore "Abercrombie" shirts in their yearbook portraits.

A seminar I attended at last month's Retail Industry Leaders Association conference proved just how brand-conscious today's teens are. Four Dallas-area youth shared their perceptions and shopping experiences, naming the retailers Target, Hollister, Urban Outfitters, Fast Forward, Gap and Old Navy as their favorites. Which discount chain did they like the least? Wal-Mart, which one panelist said had "frumpy-looking clothes." Another decried the retailer's "gloomy," unhelpful staff.

Surely this is not the same Wal-Mart I have come to love here in Texas, mainly because of its great prices. Most of my daughter's clothes indeed have come from Wal-Mart, though one day soon I know she'll be trying to hide that fact. I bought several pairs of her trendy-looking jeans and T-shirts with fun sayings at Wal-Mart when school started in August, all for a price that didn't break my budget. Many of my daughter's friends have, in fact, complimented her on the tops she's worn.

In comparison, I admit to never having purchased an item at Abercrombie & Fitch in my life, especially after having been dragged into the store by my daughter and her friend recently and observing what I viewed as outrageous prices for super-thin sweaters that looked as though they would disintegrate after one washing.

While Wal-Mart's juniors apparel may not be as edgy or racy as some popular styles, it's certainly not as bad as depicted by the teen panelists. In this case, perception is much stronger than reality. In fact, an interesting experiment would be to take several Wal-Mart juniors items, place them in a Target store and then see if this teen group could notice the difference and label those items "frumpy."

My theory is that teens today are so vulnerable to branding messages that the retailer itself has become more important than the actual fashion item. That explains why Target and Gap commercials have resonated with this group. Wal-Mart doesn't try as hard to be hip, which may be a weakness in catering to teen shoppers.

As the world's largest retailer, Wal-Mart certainly doesn't have to worry about pleasing everybody, especially fickle teens. But with today's teens becoming prime consumers in the next decade, striving harder to identify with this fashion-conscious group could certainly work to Wal-Mart's advantage in the coming years.

That's why the teaming of D. Glasgow and Warner Bros. Consumer Products is such a winning proposition.

D. Glasgow is a 65-year-old multifaceted manufacturer specializing in children's sports licensed apparel. Its expertise has earned the company many honors, including the Ernie Award for best sports licensed apparel, and the SPARC Award for outstanding boys' sizes 4 to 7 apparel. D. Glasgow is also a member of the NFL'S prestigious Million Dollar Club.

Warner Bros. Consumer Products is a licensing and merchandising powerhouse that has handily developed its Looney Tunes cast of characters into favorites with far-reaching appeal that grows stronger with time.

Now D. Glasgow and Warner Bros. are combining their talents to bring a new-fashioned appeal to activewear and a new spirit to sportswear.

The fun starts with the Team Glasgow collection for boys. The line pairs the most perfect of partners: professional sports teams and popular Looney Tunes players.

In a marketplace where sports licensing has experienced its share of troubles, D. Glasgow's business continues to thrive. As President Andy Glasgow says, "What kid doesn't want to be associated with sports and Looney Tunes? Children want to emulate their sports heroes, and they just can't get enough of Looney Tunes."

That's the kind of thinking that goes MAJOR LEAGUE into the creation of the Team Glasgow collection of sets and separates positioned expressly for the mass market. Designed to fit infants through size 20, Team Glasgow is modeled after Bull Frog, another company division targeted to department and specialty stores.

Team Glasgow captures the essence of such Looney Tunes personalities as the wisecracking Bugs Bunny and the ever-eclectic Taz, and matches them with the sharp insignias of NFL, MLB, NHL and NBA clubs. Dynamite graphics make Team Glasgow a champion. Designed by an in-house creative crew that utilizes the most advanced computer-aided design technology, bold licensed statements are made in full screenprints and are played out in the most intense color palettes.

Just imagine the thrill of the consummate BASEBALL! athletes Taz and Bugs sending slapshots soaring through the net at a New York Rangers hockey game Or Taz sporting a stylish Charlotte Hornets uniform as he expertly dunks a game-winning basket into the hoops.

For girls, D. Glasgow combines the whimsical flair of Looney Tunes with the latest fashion looks.

Adorable coordinating tops and bottoms star the likes of Tweety Bird, Sylvester the Cat and Bugs Bunny. Brightly colored garments show scenes of Tweety riding high on rollerblades or listening to a favorite tune on a personal stereo. Others portray Tweety, Sylvester and Bugs as members of the Teepee Club, all decked out in Native American attire.

The girls' collection is constructed of fashion-forward fabrics and detailed with treatments and trims that enhance its style as well as elevate its value.

Whether it be girls' or boys' sets or separates, D. Glasgow takes original Looney Tunes visuals and splashes them on the highest quality fabrics, producing American-made garments constructed to last and value-priced to sell. And just as it takes more than a licensed image to make a collection into a contender, D. Glasgow understands good follow-through. That's where the the planning and execution of customized merchandising programs come in. D. Glasgow works closely with Warner Bros. and individual retailers to ensure a varied product assortment that meets the needs of countless consumer profiles. Then D. Glasgow adds a timely flow of fresh styles to keep the product mix interesting. Figure in a quick turnaround via EDI on re-orders and hot market situations from Glasgow's two company-owned warehouses. The result: D. Glasgow and Warner Bros. Looney Tunes make a great team.

SAN FRANCISCO -- For years, Men's Wearhouse founder, chairman and ceo George Zimmer has been praising the exceptional performance of its men's formal wear and tuxedo rental businesses, so an expansion into the female equivalent--bridal attire--makes perfect sense. In fact, the company has such high hopes for the idea that it is launching a new retail concept, Bride & Joy, devoted to this category.

"For years, our female customers have been asking us to open a 'Women's Wearhouse,' and the extension of this area of our business, considering our focus on formal wear, seemed like an ideal fit for us," said Doug Ewert, evp of merchandising for Men's Wearhouse in an interview with DSN Retailing Today. He added that the stores are "one-stop shopping for bridal parties that take the guesswork out of issues such as coordinating bridal gowns to vests." Each approximately 3,000-square-foot store will open up adjacent and connected to Men's Wearhouse stores across the United States. The first two stores opened in the San Francisco market during the week of Thanksgiving.

These initial locations, housed in the company's home state of California, include San Leandro in Marina Square and San Mateo on El Camino Promenade. According to Ewert, these are test stores, the performance of which will influence the rate of expansion and the number of additional openings.

Already anticipating positive performance from the chain, however, Zimmer announced publicly that he believed Bride & Joy could grow to approximately 100 units, in about a 1-to-5 ratio with Men's Warehouse stores.

Bride & Joy's comprehensive assortment of 100 percent branded bridal merchandise includes gowns appropriate for the mother of the bride, bridesmaids and flower girls, as well as an extensive range of coordinating accessories. Though ideally, women are "going to like the way they look," to paraphrase Zimmer's famous Men's Warehouse tagline, bridesmaid gowns traditionally end up relegated to the backs of closets after the big day. That is why Bride & Joy plans to test out a gown rental service in the near future, though this option is not currently available in the two test units, according to Ewert. Most of the leading specialty bridal chains, including David's Bridal, whose AfterHours tuxedo rental chain is a major competitor of Men's Wearhouse, do not offer the option of renting dresses, which typically cost between $100 and $200 at opening price points, so this option will likely attract notice.

Aside from its recent expansion into women's apparel through formal wear, Men's Wearhouse has come up with some rather innovative ways to expand recently, including its acquisition of a number of dry cleaning businesses. As the No. 1 moderate-priced suit purveyor in the country, the company produces a majority of woven, dry-clean-only apparel, including its rental tuxedos. So entering this business was a natural, if offbeat move.

With an 8.3 percent comp sales increase in its U.S. stores during the first three quarters of 2004, out of an overall 12.2 percent revenue increase to $1.088 billion during the same time frame, Men's Warehouse was well positioned even before launching Bride & Joy. Founding father Zimmer has long forged his own trail, appearing in the company's national television commercials and maintaining an entrepreneurial approach to business. His seemingly outre suggestion that self-help guru Deepak Chopra be appointed to the Men's Wearhouse board of directors was implemented by the company this past June, a sign that Zimmer's creative ideas are well-respected by his colleagues. While Bride & Joy takes Men's Wearhouse down an entirely new avenue, there is sound business logic behind taking the plunge.

There's a trend afoot in travel: More and more destinations are offering special packages that make it easy to gather your favorite female friends and extend girls' night out into an active getaway. Here are four of our favorites. Packages and amenities are subject to seasonal availability.

Where Beverly Hills, Calif. (12 miles north of Los Angeles International Airport)

The getaway You'll recognize the Regent Beverly Wilshire from the 1990 film Pretty Woman as the hotel where Julia Roberts' character is transformed from a lady of the night into a lady. The hotel is an elegant setting for its "Pretty Woman Suite Dreamin'" package: a weekend of fun, fitness, makeovers, shopping and plenty of time for girl talk.

Sleepover Your suite comes with an adjoining room, so there's lots of space for four gals to enjoy a slumber party-style stay. Perks include a gift bag stuffed with sample-size treats from the hotel's spa and neighboring high-end retailers. Plus, you'll have your choice of chick flicks such as The English Patient, When Harry Met Sally ... and, of course, Pretty Woman (from $163 per person, per night for four guests; 800-427-4354, regenthotels.com).

Girl power Fabled Rodeo Drive is the perfect place to power walk (or power shop, depending on your preference). Or check out on-site hotel amenities, including a fitness center complete with state-of-the-art cardio and weight equipment and a 47-foot Mediterranean-style outdoor pool. An attendant will mist you with Evian water (free upon request) as you soak up the California sun between laps. Don't forget sunscreen!

Chow down In your posh suite, chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne await your arrival. For something more substantial, head to the hotel's elegant dining room for the Healthy Selection Breakfast, which includes a berry smoothie, a cholesterol-free asparagus-spinach omelet, six-grain toast and coffee or tea ($18) or, for lunch in the more casual lounge, try the Portobello Mushroom Ravioli ($15). For lower-priced healthful meals, stop by Real Food Daily (310-858-0880, realfood.com), a trendy organic vegetarian restaurant on nearby Beverly Drive. Its Total Reuben (baked marinated tempeh on toasted rye topped with soy cheese, Thousand Island dressing and sauerkraut, $9.50) is a favorite. There's also the Real Food Meal: short-grain brown rice, beans, greens and vegetables, with your choice of dressing or sauce ($10). R & R Your package includes a free makeover at Saks Fifth Avenue, just two blocks from the hotel. Afterward, visit the hotel's new Sylvain Melloul Salon for a free blowout by Parisian stylist Lea Journo (310-887-5509).

Sisterly advice For more-realistic price tags, head one block east of Rodeo Drive, to Beverly Drive, where you'll find such stores as Anthropologie, Crate & Barrel and Pottery Barn.--Maryann Hammers

Where Jasper, Alberta, Canada, four hours west of Edmonton (home of the world's largest indoor mall) via Highway 16, or five hours aboard Via Rail's Art Deco trans-Canadian train (from $176 U.S. round-trip)

The getaway A fit foodie's paradise: "The Grand Canadian Culinary Experience" package at the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge, your base camp for exploring Canada's great outdoors

Sleepover Round up seven friends for a weekend at the Gardener's Cottage, a four-bedroom lakeside cabin ($293 per person; 800-441-1414, fairmont.com) with a fully stocked kitchen and a cozy living room featuring a massive stone fireplace--the perfect setting for gossiping and catching up. The package includes two nights' lodging and lunch and dinner with live cooking demonstrations from one of the lodge's talented chefs.

Girl power Work off the calories you've consumed on your culinary adventure by pedaling or hiking around the turquoise alpine lakes dotting Jasper National Park. Expect to encounter both horseback riders and the bighorn sheep that frequent the grassy hillsides. The concierge will give you a free map of area trails, including the easy two-mile nature path from the Lodge to Old Fort Point across the Athabasca River from the town of Jasper. The resort rents bikes for about $7.60 U.S. per hour.

Chow down Order a light breakfast from room service ($3-$17 U.S.); you and your friends will want to save your appetites for a private lunch and cooking demo from the lodge's chef in the 20,000-squarefoot kitchen. Later on, you can sip your favorite wine in your own cabin while a culinary maestro shares cooking tips and tricks, fashioning a scrumptious dinner of your group's choosing. Some recommendations: crushed purple potatoes, wild rice salad, melted leeks, truffle gnocchi, and mushroom consomme with cognac.

R & R A Swedish massage (about $75 U.S. for 60 minutes) at the lodge's spa or a dip in the outdoor heated swimming pool with the girls is always an option, but you may find the most calm on your own front porch, overlooking emerald-green Lac Beauvert. Plop down in an oversized rocking chair with a good book, or to watch elk grazing on the grass.

Hey, who put your best friend in charge? Time to tame her inner Trump ...

Your classes are cruising along, but your social life is bursting with drama. And, unfortunately, much of the drama is caused by your BFF. You love her dearly, but that girl can be so bossy! Here's how to get your friendship back in balance.

THE APPRENTICE

The good news? You and your BFF have been chosen to head up the Fall Fling planning committee. The bad news? Your BFF is already trying to take over. Your best bet: Outboss the "boss" by firmly but gently divvying up duties before she starts delegating. Let her know you'll take charge of rustling up the refreshments while she decides on the decorating details. Then? You can both pick out the playlist--together.

Everyone wants to help out a friend, but there's a difference between being a pal and being unpaid labor. Your BFF has to get her room clean or she's grounded this weekend? Offer to pitch in but be sure you're working with her, not for her. Because you are sure she'd do the same for you. Right?

CALLING THE SHOTS

It's a tradition--you and your best bud hit a matinee every other Saturday. So how does it end up that she's always the one picking the flick? If your friend is constantly calling the social shots, that's not OK. You're along for the fun, so you should have a say. Talk to her about taking turns. She gets to pick what you do this week, your choice next time. Simple.

"You're not going to wear that, are you?" says your BFF as you're getting dressed for the dance. While you do value your BFF's opinion, does she always have to sound so darned condescending? Sometimes, it's not the things people say but how they say them that hurts. Most likely, your BFF thinks she's looking out for you by not letting you step out in a less-than-fab frock. But if her tone is rude, now's the time to draw the line. Nicely.